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Tips from The Parents' Coach » Parenting By Permission

Posts Tagged ‘Parenting By Permission’

Parenting By Permission

Posted on September 15th, 2007 by Jason Wittman  |  No Comments »

Effective parenting of older teens and young adults requires a rethink of the whole parenting process.  Parenting children, pre-teens, and early teens is all about teaching the fundamentals of life. At birth children have no knowledge other than how to cry and scream. In the next twelve to fourteen years parents are the primary teacher of everything from speech to manners. Someplace around early to middle teens, there is a shift in the thinking of the teenage mind from “parents, teach me all you know. I will follow you anywhere, lead me, please,” to an urge, a drive, to become their own person, a free agent, an adult.

The problem in parenting is that most parents do not recognize that, for them to remain effective parents, they need to make an equally huge shift in their approach to parenting. Most pre-teen parenting is from the top down. Parents lead and children follow. Parents dictate the agenda and their kids are made to obey. With older teens, this kind of parenting becomes less and less effective. Most problems parents have with older teens boils down to a power struggle. It becomes a war where parents might win a battle or two, but they will ultimately lose the war and possibly any influence they might have in their kids lives, as well. With a shift in thinking and parenting techniques this warfare would disappear.

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