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Tips from The Parents' Coach » Blog Archive » Bullying is the cause of both gay teen suicides and most school shootings!

Bullying is the cause of both gay teen suicides and most school shootings!

The result of the harassment of gay teens is more than just suicide. It also is responsible for most school shootings!

I am sure that there are a lot of people who are hearing about gay teens that are committing suicide as a result of not being able to cope with the teasing, taunting, ridicule and bullying (TTRB) that they were subjected to in their schools and neighborhoods, who think that it is any of their concern. They don’t know any gay teens. It’s happening somewhere else and they don’t see any reason why they ought to join a campaign to get their local schools to stop tolerating any form of TTRB. Besides the reasoning that if stopping TTRB would possibly save one life it is worth the effort, I would like to discuss the other result of bullying that effects whole communities when it occurs.

I have worked with teens for the past 35 years. I have had many harassed teens as client and have some good insights into both their feelings and their coping (or lack of coping) mechanisms. Like most humans under extreme pressure, they exhibit two main reactions, either flight or fight. Those who are prone to flight, tend to not fight back, get real quiet and withdrawn and in the extreme, totally check out through both drug addiction and suicide.

Those who are prone to fight back will do so and generally have an easier time because most bullies will back off. When the TTRB continues despite any fight backs, this group of harassed teens are the ones that eventually plan massive paybacks in the form of school shootings. I have been studying school shootings for many years and for most of them, their profiles supplied by kids that knew them include massive gay themed, teasing, taunting, ridicule and bullying. What account for school shooters generally mowing down students and faculty indiscriminately is that by the time they are pushed to doing this, their minds no longer are singling out specific harassers. The Johnny’s and the Mr. Gym Teacher’s and all the bystanders who laughed at the harassing and didn’t intervene, become “They won’t leave me alone, so they will pay!” And they all do pay with their lives!

You might have noticed that I added teasing, taunting and ridicule to the mix in addition to the normally referenced bullying. I make this distinction because they are usually the precursors of bullying and if they are stopped real early, the bullying will be less likely to happen. Teasing and taunting are what kids, from kindergarten on do to each other. It comes in the form of comments and even jingles about a perceived difference, like big ears or being effeminate.

Normally these are overlooked by supervising adults under the excuse of “boys will be boys.” This activity will stop with concerted supervision. Ridicule is something that, unfortunately, teachers do out of a misguided notion that the persons being ridiculed will shape up their acts to avoid more ridicule and shame. The problem is that in doing this ridiculing, the teachers (in my high school days it was usually gym teachers) are modeling harassing behavior and therefore tacitly sanctioning the teasing, taunting and bullying by the students.

The bottom line is that teasing, taunting, ridicule and bullying (TTRB) are a problem that must be addressed by everyone in a community because the results of such negative activity is disastrous to the harassed kids, who kill themselves and their families and friends, as well as, to the community as a whole when some of those kids become school shooters.

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